My anguished state of mind and my opinions on religion I only reveal
to a few close friends and to strangers on the internet. I want to
share my thoughts and ask my myriad questions in church, but I'm
terrified of the reaction I could get. I'm afraid that people will
think I am disrespectful, prideful, and hard hearted. I am afraid that
they will easily dismiss my concerns and write me off.
From
their point of view, I ought to have more faith and I ought to study
out these questions I have and come to the same conclusions that they
have—but, if that is what I'm supposed to do, how can I do that without
opening up dialogue and asking others for help? Since in their mind
they are correct, what better way to discover the truth than by asking
for their input?
I would not be asking questions to push people's buttons or start a controversy—I would be honestly asking. If I can find some new answers that I hadn't considered, that would be great. I'm just afraid that people will think I'm just being obnoxious and trying to stir up trouble. I suppose that as long as I keep my tone of voice sounding like I'm earnestly questioning instead of betraying a chip on my shoulder it will be OK.
