Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Do I dare disturb the universe?

My anguished state of mind and my opinions on religion I only reveal to a few close friends and to strangers on the internet.  I want to share my thoughts and ask my myriad questions in church, but I'm terrified of the reaction I could get.  I'm afraid that people will think I am disrespectful, prideful, and hard hearted.  I am afraid that they will easily dismiss my concerns and write me off.

From their point of view, I ought to have more faith and I ought to study out these questions I have and come to the same conclusions that they have—but, if that is what I'm supposed to do, how can I do that without opening up dialogue and asking others for help?  Since in their mind they are correct, what better way to discover the truth than by asking for their input?

I would not be asking questions to push people's buttons or start a controversy—I would be honestly asking.  If I can find some new answers that I hadn't considered, that would be great.  I'm just afraid that people will think I'm just being obnoxious and trying to stir up trouble.  I suppose that as long as I keep my tone of voice sounding like I'm earnestly questioning instead of betraying a chip on my shoulder it will be OK.

1 comment:

  1. I think if you ask questions earnestly then you might be alright. I agree with you that the "don't have doubts" culture in the church needs to go, because how are we ever supposed to learn if we don't first ask? But I'd like you to know that if you ever have gospel topics you'd honestly like to discuss but don't want to do it in church, you can always call me/message me, etc and I'd be happy to talk to you about them!