I do not support Proposition 8. Let me clarify: I do not support bashing gay people or looking down on them or calling them the f-- word or making fun of them or lumping them all into one category and calling them all intolerant hateful and morally loose. Some people apparently think that this is what supporting Prop 8 means, which gives the rest of us a very bad name. 8 doesn't have to be h8.
What it comes down to is this:
The anti-Prop 8ers say that Prop 8 is intolerant. The pro-Prop 8ers say that tolerance can't only go one way and that you need to respect dissenting opinions and not just label them as "intolerant." But the thing is, the anti-P8 [I'm tired of typing it out already!] are saying that the pro-P8 are intolerant of gay people, not necessarily of themselves. They're not saying, "You don't agree with me (that gay marriage should be legal), and therefore you are intolerant." They're saying, "You are denying others rights because you don't agree with their identity and their lifestyle, and that makes you intolerant."
Now I'm embarassed and sad to say this now, but I did originally support Prop 8, and I am very sorry about it. I know that sounds kind of lame, but please believe me. During a special Prop 8 fireside, that principle about tolerance not going just one way was mentioned. Yes, that's true many times–e.g. Jimmy says, "I like blue," but Jane says, "I don't like blue." If Jimmy then calls Jane intolerant, then yes, Jimmy does not understand that he is being intolerant of her opinion by calling her intolerant. But if Jane beats Jimmy up and threatens to do soevery time he wears blue, then she is truly being intolerant. This is what I see Prop 8 doing: it's not just disagreeing with someone, it's working to prevent them making a decision you don't agree with.
Really, this whole "You're intolerant!" "Well, then that means you're intolerant!" "No, you're intolerant for calling me intolerant!" mess is ridiculous. Please look up Freud's theory of projecting, because this is a classic example of it. Really, it just becomes a war of semantics and what it means to be "intolerant" (does it automatically make you intolerant yourself if you call someone else intolerant?), and as much as I like linguistics, it's just dumb. Intolerance gives me a headache.
It also comes down to this:
Gays and those who support them are either in the right or are sinners living in denial that what they're doing is wrong. I mean, I have thought about it from that perspective: what if being "tolerant" of others is really just excusing sin? But then I try to think of another example, and everything else seems so extreme: Would you be tolerant of bank robbers and not make robbery illegal because they have the right to steal? Should homicide be legal because we're being intolerant of murderers' choices? Of course not! But I'm not about to compare being gay to being a murderer–that's just ridiculous. It doesn't work.
And most importantly: Wanting to get married to the person you love is motivated by. . .love, of course! I don't understand it; do people think homosexuals want to get married to spite straight people? Or spread evil? Or just make a statement and be unorthodox? I don't think so. [Sure, whatever, some could; but so could straight couples.] Those who want the right to marry love each other.
A compromise?
Domestic partnerships/civil unions should at least have the same legal rights as a marriage. For starters, at least.
Misconceptions
I think people's misconceptions about the gay community stem from not actally knowing any gay people. If you are one of these people, at least read some blogs to try to understand others. I would recommend "MoHo" blogs (written by gay Mormons). I think being gay and Mormon carries the stigma that you "just don't have enough faith" or something, and that's why you haven't been "cured." Views like this are harmful, hurtful, and truly intolerant.
MoHos
I really feel inadequate trying to describe the situation gay Mormons are in (since I'm not in it), but I really want to express it well and continually learn and understand more about this predicament. Gay Mormons are in a weird situation: to keep the Law of Chastity, they can't have any physical relations with members of the same sex. But that's who they're attracted to! If you are straight, just imagine not being allowed to get married or have a physical relationship with the person you love dearly. I can't even image it. It sounds confusing and like an agonizing decision to make. It sounds like you would feel as if you're living in a whole different paradigm, a whole different world with a different set of rules, but others are trying to force their own rules on you.
Conclusion
Think. It makes sense.
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