Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A Parrot-Ox

I have trouble making sense of this paradox found when pairing scriptures such as these:

"And now I ask, can ye say aught of yourselves? I answer you, Nay. Ye cannot say that ye are even as much as the dust of the earth; yet ye were created of the dust of the earth; but behold, it belongeth to him who created you" (Mosiah 2:25. Oh, yeah, emphasis added. But whenever are the scriptures italicized??).

and

"Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" (D&C 18:10).

If the worth of souls is great, but we are less than dust, then dust must be pretty dang valuable. I'm sure this makes sense somehow, but I don't understand it now. I just got through with talking with someone who said that God gives us things that we do not deserve and that we would never be worthy of. I always balk at statements like that: it sounds more like the perspective of a slave to his master than of a child to his father. I imagine a penitent figure bowing before God, who looks like the statue of Zeus from Hercules, saying, "I am not worthy!" Yes, that's how I imagine it. It also reminds me of an exchange from the fabulous movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
God:What are you doing now?
King Arthur: Averting our eyes, O Lord.
God: Well don't. It's just like those miserable psalms–they're so depressing.
God also says, "Every time I try to talk to someone, it's 'I'm sorry this' or 'Forgive me that' or 'I'm not worthy. . . .'"

I think there is indeed some truth from this irreverent 70s comedy: God doesn't want us beating ourselves up and prostrating ourselves before Him. Does He give us things we don't deserve? Well, what does deserve mean? If it means, "What we earn, based on justice," then no, we probably don't deserve forgiveness. But that's neglecting mercy and the fact that we are divine children of God. Yes, according to justice, we don't deserve forgiveness; but justice isn't the only thing at play. Perhaps when this point is made, it's just emphasizing that we can't just rely on justice to make sense of punishment and forgiveness.

Part of the reason I have such a negative knee-jerk reaction to statements such as "We don't deserve what God gives us" is that I have been so hard on myself, setting higher standards than God had for me. I've been way too harsh and thought I was making so many mistakes–which is not only normal, but fine, because we can't be perfect. I've been trying so hard to get out of that mind set, thinking I'm not "clean" or "worthy" that I hate it when someone comes along and says something to perpetuate the myth that we are such horrible, base creatures who don't even deserve mercy from our Heavenly Father.

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