Letter: Enforcing the Code

A letter from April 11th, with my comments added:

Summer is here, and apparently (apparently) that means immodesty is here as well. I am a graduate of BYU from a few years ago and my husband is currently a student at BYU. Every so often I get a complaint from him that women on campus are immodestly clad and this discourages me. 

What about the Honor Code? Didn’t everyone on campus sign this document setting themselves apart from some of the worlds fashion standards? Tuesday was one of the nicest days we’ve had so far this year, and apparently nice weather gives women license to show leg and shoulders to the world. Legs and shoulders?!?!?  The horror!  The absolute horror!  Let's further sexualize legs and shoulders by demanding that they be covered up!  This behavior is not acceptable. Uh oh, someone just popped a can of "Oh Snap!"  It is not virtuous. By no means is it being an example to the world by being “distinct and different—in happy ways—from the women of the world.” (See Sister Beck, April 2012 Conference Talk).  Seriously?  It's insulting to be compared to "women of the world" when girls at BYU dress nowhere near as provocatively.  It's a gross exaggeration.  And ugh.  Quoting Conference talks.  

 

And I love that she uses the format of "(See ___)" like the church magazines do.

My husband does not want to see these women and I guarantee other virtuous young men don’t want to see them either. I like how she slips in that her husband is a virtuous young man.  Obviously any good, upstanding young man is going to be as judgmental as her husband.  (I say "judgmental" because, the way she describes it, he actively complains about the girls breaking the Honor Code  by showing a few inches of skin above their knees.  Which brings me now to my next point. Honor Code Office: Please enforce the Honor Code. I know you enforce the Honor Code, even in times of extreme pressure. Take Brandon Davies, for example. So now wearing a skirt that's a few inches above the knee is being compared to having extramarital sex?  And the Brandon Davies case was very public; should the HCO likewise make a public spectacle out of these horribly immodest women?  I also know that you enforce the Honor Code when there are violations to the dress and grooming standards. For example, if my husband doesn’t shave and has a test, he is turned away from the testing center and told to shave before taking his test. Have you thought about doing this same thing to women who are violating the Honor Code? I don't like the comparison between dressing immodestly and shaving.  The need to shave is not stressed in church (as far as I know) to the degree that it is at BYU.  When thinking of principles taught in Young Women and Relief Society, I would list modesty as one.  But I doubt a young man my age would describe shaving as one he learns about.  Modesty carries with it the idea that young women can tempt young men, i.e. put their righteousness in peril, by dressing immodestly.  Shaving in no way carries that weight with men.  If a man has stubble, he isn't warned that he could be provoking "dirty" thoughts in young women's minds.  I am a woman and plead with you do be more strict with the women students.  I admit that this is a powerful point.  A woman telling women to dress more modestly is better (and carries more authority) in my eyes than a man telling them to.  Likewise, when a man says that other men should be less judgmental of the young ladies, it carries with it more weight.  However, obviously, her view doesn't represent the views of all of the females at BYU (e.g., me).

Please understand, I know it is a sensitive subject thank you for recognizing that and puts people in an awkward inappropriate? place, but it needs to be fixed in her opinion.  This is an example of stating an opinion as a fact.  In my opinion, the judgmental attitude some people have needs to be fixed. People will complain. People will post on Facebook how dumb BYU is for enforcing the Honor Code, no, people will post on Facebook about how dumb your views are. but that is your job. Please do it.  Sorry, but this comes across as telling the HCO to chide people basically because their rule breaking bothers the author.  It sounds a little selfish.  "I'm uncomfortable with seeing a girl's shoulders.  Tell her to stop!"  Her desire for the HC to be enforced does not seem to come from a place of benevolence and charity.  She's not even pretending (for which I am somewhat grateful) to be looking out for these girls' interests by encouraging modesty.  Their actions bother her and she wants them to stop. 
 

I've thought a long time about why exactly the subject of breaking the dress and grooming standards raises people's ire so much.  I used to be a pharisee, and I probably would have likewise looked down on and complained about "immodestly" dressed girls if I had remained one after coming to BYU.  Why would I get so upset when people weren't following the rules when it really didn't affect me?  It wasn't hurting me at all.  The conclusion I've come to so far is that people get mad when they are obeying the rules and getting no obvious reward or accolade while people who aren't obeying the rules aren't receiving any obvious punishment.  It's "unfair."  It strikes me now as a bit like children tattling on each other, trying to get someone else in trouble for breaking rules.  It's self serving and uncharitable.  Live and let live.

REBECCA TAYLOR
Bountiful